Gary ThomasWhen to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People

I really needed this book to understand and make sense of the things going on in my life. As a Christian it was great to get a biblical perspective on toxic environments and people that distract you from the mission that God has for us. This book helped me stay sane and lead my family out of a toxic and unsafe relationship. I am forever grateful for Gary Thomas and they way he write. My wife and I loved his marriage devotional and was so glad that he wrote a book like this.If you are in a tough toxic environment as a Christian and want help to make sense of it all... Read this book. You are not alone and Gods love for you is so much greater.I have received and realized the love that God has for me... It's nothing that I have earned but a beautiful unconditional love that drives me to love God and knows God more. I have been in ministry for a while but this is a new spiritual level that is tough to go through but brought me freedom from things I didn't see before.Thank you Gary Thomas! I hope many people are blessed by this book who are going through dark times or toxic relationships. God Bless!

This is the book you need, to get the permission you need, to walk away from those toxic relationships in your life. Because, if you're anything like me, you know you've asked yourself that countless times. Am I in the wrong? You turn it back around and get yourself convinced that they're not that bad and it must just be you. You doubt yourself and then end up stuck in that unhealthy cycle and you just keep going, deeper and deeper. Gary's book is well written, a tone of voice that is a caring, wise friend. He states right away that he isn't going to dive into titles or disorders, that's not what he's here for. He's here to help us figure out how to go about a toxic situation by looking to scripture for guidance. I can't imagine this book was easy to write, honestly it isn't easy to read (from an emotional standpoint) But it puts the focus right where it needs to be; Jesus, and us working to become like Him. I am so thankful to have found this resource. If you are struggling with toxic people and how to handle them, as a Christian, read this. It is sure to help you.

Gary Thomas’ book “When to Walk Away From Toxic People” gives us both permission and purpose as we walk our way to spiritual health. Many subtitles come to mind including, “Learn to Discern, then Take a New Turn”. Gary discusses at length “why” walking away is so critically urgent to our spiritual maturity as well as where to walk after one has walked away. Gary references the 42 times in the Book of Luke when Jesus walked away and then walked toward his next purpose. Gary shares many life examples from his years of working with people and groups, all underscoring the power of following and doing what Jesus did, as He encountered the same toxicity.What is more common to all of us than toxic people! Gary clearly defines in depth the three characteristics which define toxicity - a murderous spirit, a controlling nature, a heart that loves to hate. For example, Gary defines a murderous spirit as often ruled by selfishness and spite, draining rather than encouraging, use people rather than loving them, addicted to self-righteousness, jealous of healthy people’s peace/relationships/family, bring people down to their level of misery rather than blessing them, and they make you feel like they just want you to stop being you. Wow! I bet you can identify one of these people in your life too! And this is only one small chapter of the book.Each chapter reveals more and more of the complete process of walking away and what to walk toward. Learn to discern and take a new turn - living the way Jesus really did.Gary notes that Jesus modeled: how to let people go, how to walk away, how to stay in charge of our schedule, how to not allow ourselves to become unnecessarily abused, and how to walk away and “find reliable people in whose life you can make a worthy investment”.Not all things are toxic nor need to become toxic either. Gary devotes time to recognizing toxic tendencies in our own lives also. He discusses the nature of resistant disagreements, yet toxicity is rather a state of a person’s heart and mind. If we are to be helpful to others in this area, we need to likewise examine our own motives and blind-spots.One of the most freeing discussions Gary presents is that “you can’t have a healthy non-difficult relationship with a toxic person”. Thank you Gary for pointing out that… we have to understand…toxicity is Not about me, it’s about them. We need to continue to speak truth, guard our sanity, and double-down in prayer.I will be using your book in my own personal/family life, our small group ministries, and with men and women who are re-entering society after being incarcerated and/or substance abuse treatment.Thanks again, Gary for leading us on a Walk of Permission, Purpose, and Freedom.

I recommend this book to anyone who has to make the decision to walk away from certain people in your life that are truly toxic to you. What I gained from this book is that it's ok to let hateful people walk away from you. Jesus didn't chase people down and offer compromises to appease people when people rejected Him. He let them walk away from Him, and then He walked away from them. No name calling, no gossip, no hatred, no explanations, He simply let them go. If you ever have the misfortune to be in a close relationship with a narcissist, then you know that they and their flying monkeys will 'shun' you, gossip about you, and spew some vile hateful words at you if you do not play to their ego, cater to them, sacrifice for them, and virtually give yourself away to appease them. After a while you realize that if you continue in that relationship, it will completely destroy you so you must save yourself and 'let them walk away'. This book gives a biblical perspective on when and how to do that, or if you can stay and make it work. It gave me a great deal of peace to put my situation in perspective and do I what I needed to do - in my case, it was to let them go and not look back.