Manjul Publishing House No More Mr. Nice Guys

Great book and a quick read. I’m going to read it again and do all the activities that are in it. I learned so much about myself from reading this book. I believe this will help me grow and is a big step towards living a fulfilling life.

This book is exactly what I needed. It made me take a good look at myself and my actions and helped me to understand just how much my early life influenced my feelings and actions. I like that there are practical exercises and examples presented in various chapters, and I consider them to be helpful overall. I wouldn't consider the real life examples provided as definitive guides on how to react in similar situations, but more like an inspiring stories to make you rethink how you'd react in similar situations. I'm thankful for this book because it showed me the way to happier and more productive life.

Great book but some chapters seem like personal opinions and outdated views can be skipped. Pretty clear it was solely written from a straight male perspective. Have it 4 stars because there is some good stuff in here. The good chapters have some good info

Glover in "No More Mr Nice Guy" addresses one of the biggest struggles and heartaches for men in recent years, the dreaded Nice Guy Syndrome. And he succeeds in pointing out the causes and cures for said condition so that "Nice Guys" can become "Nice Guys With Balls" or "Good Men". He makes his case through first examining what he thinks are the root causes that produce these type of men. Then he works to present straightforward solutions to changing said behavior so men can longer be held back by these tendencies. Throughout the book he cites accounts from his own experiences and that of others he's coached interacted with over the years, he presents activities and suggestions to help "break free" from the nice guy syndrome and more. I personally found very little issues with the book. Glover delivers his message articulately and intelligently with humor and style. I do feel though that Glover's book is best read in conjunction with other books in order to insure you find your best self. I would recommend "Rules of The Game" by Neil Strauss first and foremost. It contains a 30 day life style change program and really helps you see and reach your full potential. My other recommendations are "The Solution To Social Anxiety" & "The Human Magnet Syndrome: Why We Love People Who Hurt Us" these both go into the deeper wounds that may be causing your issues and how to heal. You may also want to pick up "The Selfish Gene" if your really wanting to know more about why people behave the way they do. You may want pickup "The Geeks Shall Inherit The Earth" to embrace and understand your uniqueness and why it often gets you persecuted. And lastly "The Rational Male" (volumes 1 & 2) for the most update modern take and understanding breakdown of the romance dating landscape. Also while Glover's book is targeted at men it is a good read for woman. If you were a woman I would pick up it and the other books I suggested but also "Why Men Love Bitches From Doormat To Dreamgirl". It's pretty much "No More Mr Nice Guy" for girls. I came across Glovers book, as well as many of the others, by chance and they changed my life forever. I just wished I had read them sooner. Glover's hard work and culumtive efforts have resulted in a master piece that deserves a place in the self help books hall of fame. Pick it up, and really take what he says to heart, and you won't be disappointed. 5/5 Stars!

No More Mr. Nice Guy is a GREAT book However, the title is misleading, the purpose of the book is to boost confidence and help men reclaim power in their lives, it does not make men jerks. The author points out that you are the only person on this planet responsible for your needs, wants, and happiness. By boosting a man's confidence and ensuring the man's needs are met, women are naturally more attractive to these men. The greatest aphrodisiac is self-confidence. The characteristics of "Nice Guys" are men who have difficulty setting boundaries in relationships with women and become doormats. The men often feel as helpless victims and seeing another person as the cause of problems. Many nice guys live life trying to gain approval for others. Many nice guys did not have their needs met as boys. As a coping mechanism to try to get their needs met, they try to be nice. Later in life, Nice Guys apply the skills learned as a boy in dealing with women - by being nice - it does not work. When being nice does not work, the Nice Guys try to be even nicer. Men need to set healthy boundaries in relationships with women. Avoiding conflicts in relationships is problematic - Women do not feel safe with a man they know they can push around. A woman wants to know you will stand up to her. That is how she will feel secure in the relationship. There is a catch - she has to test to see if she can trust you. When you set a boundary, she may strongly test and push against the boundary. She will tell you that you are wrong for having the boundary and do her best to find out if the boundary is for real. Generally, when women feel secure, they feel loved. When a man stands up to a woman, she believes he will likely stand up for her. Setting boundaries creates respect and makes women feel secure and feel loved. Around 50%+ of marriages end in divorce and usually the mother has primary custody. This places the boy in a subservient position to women and minimizes the father's influence. The mother has a profound influence in upbringing of the boy. Mothers teach their daughters to be more independent and teach their sons to be "nice boys" - dependent on women's approval. During the formative years (0-5 years), most of the boy's school teachers are women, so they learn to be subservient to women. The boy must be nice to gain the teacher's approval and earn good grades. In essence, most of the boy's power figures are women and he must be nice to win their approval. Nice guys learn that their needs are not important or having needs contrary to the women's needs is bad, so they try to please others and become miserable in the process. They become wimps, doormats, nice guys - whatever to avoid conflict in relationships and try to make their women happy. During the formative years, when a boy set boundaries with either his mother or female teachers - he was taught that it was alright to have those boundaries violated. Later in life these boys grow to become men, but use the outdated strategy developed in childhood to deal with women - by being nice and trying to make women happy at any cost. Since Nice Guys learned to sacrifice themselves in order to survive, recovery must center on learning to put themselves first and making their needs a priority. That's what this book is about. There were 27 reviews on the book; I read all of them before buying the book. I also read the 3 new reviews since receiving and reading the book. A book of this nature cannot please everyone - it will save some relationships and bury some relationships that have been long dead. Depending upon your life upbringing, the book will either apply to you or not. Since I started reading the book, I have been raving about it. Get this book. I bought a second copy to send to a friend. I even recommended friend who is a single mother raising a son to get this book.

This is a book a lot of men need! Glover’s core idea is simple and uncomfortable: a lot of men learned early that love is earned by being agreeable, useful, and problem-free. The believe is that if I’m good, I’ll be liked, if I meet everyone’s needs without being asked, they’ll meet mine and if I do everything right, life will go smoothly. This is not true. These believes only produce resentment and weak men. The “Nice Guy” often isn’t nice at all—he’s just afraid of conflict, rejection, and being seen as selfish. What I found most useful is that Glover doesn’t just diagnose the pattern. He names the shame and anxiety underneath it, then gives a practical path toward becoming what he calls an Integrated Male: someone who can own his power, needs, flaws, anger, desire, and mission without splitting himself into a public saint and a private mess. This won’t land for everyone. Some of the language is blunt, some examples feel dated, and if you’re looking for a gentle self-help hug, this isn’t it. But if you’ve spent years being available, reliable, and quietly disappointed—and you’re tired of waiting for other people to notice—it’s one of the clearest directions I’ve read.

Great book,. Great read. Great insights.

If you're run-down and overrun big time by the "boss," driving a mini van full of vomit and screaming toddlers, and idling in the Starbucks drive-thru while waiting on your iced caramel mocha frappachino, maybe this book could be for you! Redeem yourself, man! It could actually REALLY help you! But if you're like me and still do crap for yourself and don't worry too much about tit for tat and pleasing the woman, maybe skip this read. Key here, the ideology being peddled is subjective to each individual reading the book. Randy Rager Roy Jenkins Jr. could read Chapter 5 or whatever, and swallow it hook line and sinker. He'd be like "What the hell!!!" and party and barbecue for a week, raise a ruckus, tell the wife/gf to deal with it because he's helping himself, and things could go really really badly. On the other hand, Billy could read Chapter 5, also swallow it hook line and sinker, and take a quiet weekend fly fishing for himself. A river runs through it! Things could improve in time for poor Billy as he carefully and cautiously applies the principles and ideologies. Sell that minivan, Billy! No more elastic pant! Step by step, Billy. Its all subjective! Depends on the person reading it! For me, book kept building on assertions that I could not bring myself to agree with. 2/3 of the way through, she's going on the shelf! Felt like the author kind of wants you to live and breathe the book, put the rest of your ideologies and convictions on the back burner for a while. Nope nope nope! Not this guy! I don't have it thaaat bad! I was just looking for some techniques, a little bit of light advice on understanding how to better handle my wife's periodic rambunctiousness! Not a danged overhaul! The redeeming quality is some of the insight offered by the author. Refreshing at times. And even with those big assertions I disagree with, there is definitely some really good stuff to be gleaned out of here! And for some, this book could really nail it! Like a deer rifle hitting the gong at 300 yards! But for me... it was more of a light shotgun peppering. But even if its a bullseye, if you just wholly trust and run with the book's ideology, you might end up with some serious changes. Meaning, divorced/single in a one bedroom apartment paying alimony and in a Nice Guy support group that the author keeps suggesting you find. Randy will be there! Everyone's truth is relative, so maybe if that does happen to you, you'd believe it was the best thing that ever happened! Maybe it actually would be! Who knows!? Who cares. Whatever you do, if you do want a good self help book that I highly recommend, first read "How to Win Friends and Influence People" By Dale Carnegie. It'll help you with the ole' lady just fine and dandy. That is a good, good book. It will only help you. A bit basic for some, but still a great, positive and encouraging read! My copy is tattered and torn, all marked up from years of re-reading. This "Nice Guy" book is more playing Russian roulette. Could help you or hurt you, depending on how you look at it, and what you value. It really depends on the reader. "Be careful with whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it."

Lettura molto scorrevole e comprensibile. Mi ha aiutato profondamente a capire certi aspetti di me stesso di cui non mi rendevo conto e mi ha fatto realizzare il motivo di alcuni problemi che continuo ad affrontare senza riuscire a risolvere. Ora dopo questa lettura, penso di avere una prospettiva piu ampia su come realmente sono le cose e cosa sto sbagliando nell'affrontarle. Consiglio la lettura a chiunque pensi come me di essere un "bravo ragazzo" e nonostante ciò non riesca a ottenere dalla vita quello che vuole.

This might easily be one of the best self-help books I have read in a long time. The very basic message of this book is: "Men should stop seeking approval and be exactly who they are". By seeking approval in relationships and at work, and trying to do things right all the time, nice-guys do NOT get what they want. They come across as needy, are stuck in mediocrity and fail to reach their potential in their professional lives. The reasons are straightforward, yet, many men fail to understand. To give a few examples: 1. Men who are needy and seek the approval of women are not sexy 2. Men who want to do everything right in their professional lives often fail to quit a dysfunctional job or ask for a salary increase or promotion 3. Men who focus on the pleasure of their partner while having sex don't get the sex they want (and neither does the partner) Glover outlines the psychological mechanisms behind the "nice-guy" behavior and gives the reader some practical advice, how they can brake through the nice-guy paradigm. It clearly shows that "nice guys" are often not as nice as they seem, as their seeking of approval contains dishonesty, high expectations of other people, and the illusion that if they are nice and do everything right, they will be liked by everybody. Also, they often feel like a victim and don't take their lives into their own hands. I particularly liked the "breaking through activities" that are easy to follow. They include the setting of personal rules, such as: "if it frightens you, do it", "no matter what happens, you will handle it" and "stop blaming. Victims never succeed." To sum up, this book is a fulfilling journey for every man who wants to start working on getting the live he really wants. It is the first step to detaching yourself from the judgments of other people and live a life true to your own values.

Writer is spot on with his observation on this topic. And direct straightforward advice. Good book.

FUERTE recomendacion - no se dejen llevar por impresiones apresuradas debido al entorno del internet- es tan positivo y simple como creo que pueda llegar a ser un libro sobre este tema - es como muy "puro" - solo es un breve panfleto sobre aceptarse a uno mismo - pero abordando este tema desde muchos lados y de manera que ves que realmente no entiendes el concepto de la aceptacion. Mi concepto de la aceptacion cambio para siempre Es un libro que no tiene "consejos" ni te dice que necesitas ser millonario y tiranico y buscar el estatus o un titulo o un oscar o una relacion para ser feliz y valer - el libro te muestra por que el enfoque en esas cosas es errado - te enseña muy convincentemente por que la falta de aceptacion de uno mismo es el unico verdadero problema - y que superar ese obstaculo es muy facil - esto es lo que hara que puedas triunfar en todo lo demas. No hay en el libro una agenda machista ni le interesa hablar del feminismo ni de cosas politicas - es muy enfocado en lo que te esta pasando a ti como persona y eso me sorprendio y me parecio bello y refrescante - no hay ninguna incitacion a la agresividad ni a ninguna tendencia politica - tiene un concepto de la masculinidad que es tan positivo como se puede llegar a ser no me aburri en ningun momento es una lectura que se me paso rapido y esta escrito de manera que es muy entretenido con anecdotas y ejemplos - breve pero MUY sustancioso. La edicion del libro -impecable y sin ninguna falta de ortografia - me encanta la portada

It has been a real pleasure to read this book, as I read on it described my own personal life. With an abusive father and an alcoholic mother, my childhood was very difficult to bear, in addition I have problems with alcohol abuse during 30 years and a severe depression. At the age of 38 I decided to put and end to my miserable life, I contacted my father after 30 years and started in AA. After ten years with an enormous amount of effort and persistence I finally became sober and recovered from depression. Reading this book has been a real discovery for me because it describes me perfectly and I encourage other people to read it too, it can help a lot. That's why I rated with 5 stars.