The Attachment Parenting Book: A Commonsense Guide to Understanding and Nurturing Your Child (Sears Parenting Library)

I find that while reading this book, there's so many mums I want to read bits out to - the psychology of children is flawless in my opinion (and I have a psychology degree) so it really helps to understand where our little people are coming from. Sears comes across as completely non-judgmental which really helps if you feel you've made mistakes before when looking after children, be it your own, your siblings when you were younger or other people's children. When my firstborn came along 2 years ago, I was recommended the baby whisperer books, and although I tried to stick with it for a whole 3 months, it felt unnatural to me to leave my baby sobbing while bent over him patting him on the back for ages. I was confused and upset when my baby didn't conform to what the baby whisperer said. The difference with this book is that I always feel calmer about a situation once I've read Sears thoughts on something that I'm having trouble with (fussiness or clinginess to pick one example). There's also a great section on working as a parent while maintaining your attachment - which they know a lot about since there's not much maternity leave or care provided to mothers in the States much past 6 weeks. The sections are based around the 7 Baby Bs: 1) Birth Bonding: how the beginnings affect early attachment. 2) Breastfeeding: how it helps in getting to know your baby, what they call 'Baby Reading'. 3) Baby Wearing: research clearly shows how children who are carried fuss less and they are so content that they spend a lot of time in quiet alertness, learning a lot about their environment. They just seem so much calmer too. 4) Bed Sharing: the benefits of bed sharing for mothers and babies. The fact is that most babies sleep best when they are close to their parents. Personally, we have co-slept with our baby since I fell asleep breastfeeding one night and realised the next morning how well we had all slept! Sears is again non-judgmental about whichever way you decide to sleep. 5) Belief in baby's cries: "a baby's cry is a baby's language" ie they communicate through crying - they have different cries for different emotions, which you pick up the more time you spend with your baby. Babies don't cry to manipulate, they cry to alert you to their needs. "The more sensitively you respond, the more baby learns to trust his parents and his ability to communicate". 6) Balance and Boundaries: about balancing your own needs with those of your baby and the rest of your family. Because it's extremely important to not "neglect your own needs and those of your marriage" 7) Beware of baby trainers: "This restrained style of baby care, which we dub baby training is based upon the misguided assumptions that babies cry to manipulate, not to communicate, and that a baby's cry is an inconvenient habit that must be broken to help baby fit more conveniently into an adult environment...a distance can develop between baby and parent - just the opposite of what happens with attachment parenting" The overall theme of the book is for you to learn to rely on your own instincts and decide for yourself how best to parent your own child. When reading this book, I realised that I'd been parenting the exact same way without realising there was a name for what I did! To me, I was just doing what naturally came to me. Attachment parenting is a natural way to parent, and this book helps to explain it in detail in a helpful way, without coming across as patronising or judgmental. It makes me want to get all their other parenting books and also buy their books for other mummies I know!

I love this book. It made such a difference in how we were going to become parents. We now have a healthy, confident 18-year-old young lady, in part because of what we learnt here.

What an amazing book, i am planning my first baby and this book has opened up a world of possibilities that are basically common sense but seems to be so far away from what most people practice. Its nice to know that the writers are both medically qualified and parents with children that are all different. I don't like all the boxes everywhere and had to go back every now and then to make sure i got everything but i enjoyed it over all. I have noticed that a few people are slightly offended by the very traditional Husband and Wife dynamic of the book but you have to remember that this is written from very honest experience and so i don't believe this is a bad thing. I would highly recommended this book to any parents or parents to be even if just to open their mind to different possibilities.

This book tells you what you already know deep down in your heart. Get this book before baby trainers get you. It was like music to me ear - everything I would've done following my intuition stands there, scientifically proved. If I can add one word of criticism, it would be about baby carrying. The authors can't say enough good things about it but my daughter is a living proof that not every baby loves being in a baby carrier. When she was 1 - 2 months old she was screaming her head off regardless of being carried or laid down to bed. Now at the age of 5 months she does accept it but doesn't love it and she can stay calm only as long as I keep on moving. The story presented by the authors about sitting in a restaurant and enjoying a dinner with a baby in a sling sounds like a fairy tale to me. However my experience only confirms the overall message from the book: every baby comes into this world with its own personality and our job is to adjust our world to this little person, not the other way around.

This book is just wonderful. It gave us a clear idea how to best tend to our child and simultaneously relieved a lot of fear and insecurity we felt before. It also helps your wallet by showing you all the things available in the market that an infant/toddler absolutely does not need.

An excellent book that is basically a written form of true instinctual parenting. It will support you to meet your baby’s needs in a holistic way that will have them as Independant children. A great read.

Everything about this books has been so valuable to me as a new mum. The Bs of attachment parenting. Love love love forget any other books read this and listen to your instincts you can't go wrong.

Loved this book! A lot of it is common sense but it is nice to know that my personal choice of parenting is backed up by proffesionals!I think that reading this book gives you the confidence to trust your instincts. I feel better for reading it.

Pour les parents qui ne veulent pas entrer dans les sentiers battus du laisser pleurer, faire faire ses nuits etc (et encore, ce ne sont que les plus communs des lieux communs!) un livre qui vraiment remonte le moral et nous conforte dans ce qu'on fait! Je ne crois pas qu'il ait été traduit, vaut le coup de le lire en anglais si on a le niveau car c'est vraiment encourageant et rassurant.

Al principio me encantaba, pero luego vi que los autores son fundamentalistas cristianos y empecé a ver que el libro promueve que la madre viva solo para los hijos, en el hogar. Rollo mamá mártir.

Excellent book. A must read for anyone who is committed to being a great parent raising wonderful children. This book and series is excellent. I highly recommend it. It helped me become a greater mother. Love this. Recommend.

Ich wollte mehr über diese Erziehungsmethode erfahren, da mir viele Aspekte davon sehr gefallen. Das Buch ist sehr aufschlussreich und mit Beispielen für den Alltag gefüllt. Durch geschilderte Erfahrungen von anderen Eltern ist das Buch auch nicht "trocken ". Vieles was mein Bauchgefühl mir gesagt hat wird hier bestätigt und erklärt. Ein gutes Gefühl....

I practice attachment parenting b/c that it the way feel most natural to me. I use many of the advices from Dr. Sear for all of my 3 kids. I have all girls 5,7,10. I don't want to brag about my kids here as I think the results of any parenting method can't really be measure until much later in life. Whether they will grow up as well ground adults with healthy life styes, successful career, happy individual, & a great contributor to human life....but for now, I can tell you that I'm very proud of my children at this ages & we are a very happy loving family. I don't "spoil" my kids as contrary to many incorrect perception about parenting. We try to provide a loving but structure environment for our children. Dr. Sear offer many great advice in this book & I used it in those days that my kids were babies age. We co-sleep & I nurse my kids. My baby was nurse until she almost 3. They are all very independent now & have their own rooms, which they took care really well. I almost NEVER let my babies cry & always pick them up to comfort them, my kids are great sleepers now, all we do at night is tuck them in with good night kisses, they wake up to use the rest room by themselves. Every once in a while, we allow them to sleep in our beds & that is a special treat. Except travelling for work, my husband & I NEVER take a vacation without the kids. We rather travel with other family friends so we have the adults companies & the kids have friends their ages to. We enjoy our kids companies & they love ours. If you don't use all the advice in this book, you can still benefit from reading it & maybe apply some My mom use the "tough love" method on me . I turn out fine but I always secretly wish she was more gentle with me. So there is no right or wrong, just practice what you believe in your loving heart & hopefully we will raise the next generation of great human, loving & giving :-)