The Hesitant Mistress: A Guide to Claiming Your Feminine Power

“Being given this book means that your partner loves you enough to want to involve you in one of his deepest, most personal fantasies”. “You are one lucky lady.” “The instant he confided his secret desires to you, he offered you the key to his soul. It’s an act of romance touching beyond words.” Even the cover photo of this guide book seems to enforce the idea that the woman is really hesitant about suddenly becoming a mistress-dominatrix. It’s a brilliant cover choice. It isn’t easy to create a photo that screams hesitation or uncertainty. The woman in the cover photo seems to convey the feelings she must be experiencing after suddenly finding herself in a completely unexpected new role. All the questions and doubts that she will have to answer in the text of the guidebook seem present. She has a riding crop hanging down loosely from her right hand. Does she have to use it or will slapping with just her hand get the desired result? One of her five or six inch Stiletto high heels definitely seems uncomfortable and may soon be removed from her foot. She is probably very concerned about whether her thigh-high black stockings will make her thighs look fat? Are the suspender garters hanging down from her black, sexy girdle or corset sexy enough to turn on her mate? Does she look like a dominatrix whose orders must be followed to the letter? Will her costume really allow her to command her now sub servant lover to follow her orders even if they are totally for her sexual or non-sexual enjoyment and not his? All the questions posed by the cover photo are discussed in detail inside the book covers. That’s one of the things that makes this guide book so much fun to explore, just like the lovers in the book. It’s truly a well written guide book to adventure. It offers endless possibilities for deeper understanding and happiness for lovers. It’s a whole new beginning and definitely a page-turner.

"This book will teach your partner how to be more dominant. That means she will learn how to actually be more dominant, not just how to act like a dominatrix long enough for you to get your jollies off in the bedroom." ^^She's telling the truth. This is not a book about how to satisfy your kinky husband's "needs". Instead, it is probably one of the best self-help books for female confidence that I have read. I feel like all women should read it. Ms Hightower points out all of the ways that our voices have been culturally silenced. She acknowledges with warmth and understanding that terrible voice in the back of our heads that tells us that we are being "a bitch" just for asking for something we want. She talks about how to feel "worthy" of your submissive's attentions. She talks about how you can value yourself as a person without worrying constantly about appearing "nice". She talks about how to feel beautiful. She tells us to stop apologizing for wanting things. -"Have you ever apologized for "being a bother" when you make a request?....That is not right. That is not healthy.... A normal member of society should be allowed to have needs." -"You are valuable enough to deserve this. You matter. You don't have to shrink yourself into nothing for the sake of being "nice." She also gives real life examples of what an FLR can look like - not in the bedroom, which might be the part that men think about the most, but outside of it, where the rest of life is. Him bringing you a cup of coffee, telling you his plans for the day. Doing what YOU want him to do. And she tells you how to get that without feeling mean. She also goes into the bedroom stuff, but not into detail. Most of the book is about feeling worthy, ACTING worthy, and how to get him doing what YOU want him to do - not just how to satisfy HIS "needs". A great book for a woman who doesn't really see the attraction to being the dominant partner, or as she describes it, being a woman instead of a mouse. A great book for a woman who wants to feel worthy of her submissive's adoration but is having trouble overcoming decades of cultural conditioning. I wish it was twice as long. And men - read her warning before you buy!

This is one of those books that let my wife know how to step up in our relationship. We use this solely for the bedroom and we have grown in the D/s exponentially. She was very hesitant to step into the D role whole heartedly. After reading this she was able to set aside her trepidations. It has also helped her in every day life as well

I wanted to like this book. I really did. Something that talks about women and empowerment? Something that gives a pep-talk about self-confidence? Something that gives tips on how to be more dominant? That would have been nice... Instead mostly it is saying you should be more self-confident, but only ONCE in the entire book (that I recall) does it actually set out a list of helpful tips on how to implement one of the author's suggestions. ONCE. So while it's fairly feel-good and might get you in a particular mood, I don't think that it's helpful for someone looking for actionable steps. As far as sexiness goes, the author seems to be a my-man-can-sit-at-my-feet and draw-me-a-bubble-bath and kneel-properly-when-you-present-me-my-coffee and how-do-you-train-your-submissive-man type of domme. Mostly. So if you're looking for ideas along those lines, then this actually might be a very *good* book for you. Admittedly it's a bit hard to say exactly what kind of domme they are because they avoid actually sexiness in the book almost like the plague. At least twice masturbation was referred to euphemistically as "private time", and not in a naughty wink-wink sort of way. It was a sort of demure I-don't-want-to-startle-you-readers sort of way. The author similarly dances around the topic of any actual sexual practices, in case you are hopefully that it's going to give you explicit ideas. Not so much. The book is very heterosexual. Which is undoubtedly fine for about 95% of the population, but I thought I'd mention it. The book is thicker paper, bigger words, and not very many pages. A quick read. Don't get me wrong, I *do* like the confidence pep talk. But I wish there had been more actionable steps there.

I loved this book because it focused mainly on the mindset of the dominant female. It makes the entire situation a little less scary sounding. She keeps her sections short, sweet, and to the point. She doesn't baby you through anything. She says simply "if you want something, ask for it." She doesn't use unnecessary detail or examples. She focuses on trying to get you into the mindset of the Mistress. She explains it's ok to be who YOU are and that is the point. It's a very helpful book and I would highly recommend it to any female, not just those interested in the lifestyle. I read it through in about a day and it's done wonders for me. I've started to notice a few changes in my behavior outside of the bedroom. I'm happier and so is my pet. It's a great buy and you won't regret it.

I am really loving this book. I'd recommend it not just for those who may be finding they have a dominant side they want to coax out, but for anyone who could use some empowerment and encouragement, not just in romantic sort of relationships, but in life overall. It's not so complicated to read and process that it feels overwhelming, it's easy to put down and go back to if needed, while hitting a lot of key points many need someone to say to them or for them.

After a disastrous FLR attempt using "Uniquely Rika" (although acknowledging that men who don't mind being robots would like it), and finding that Mistress Benay's methods were far too coercive (although acknowledging that even the extremities of her methods would be good for some men), I have settled on the following progression as probably the best sequence of books (the ones I know of) for the average FLR-desiring man: --- First Introduction to FLR: ----- The Hesitant Mistress: A Guide to Claiming Your Feminine Power (two copies, one for each partner) --- Basic FLR Training: ----- How To Set Up An FLR: A Couple's Guide to Female Led Relationships --- Advanced FLR Training: ----- The Mistress Manual: The Good Girl's Guide to Female Dominance

This book really disappointed me. From the title, you expect it to be a cute little guide to being a dominatrix, from the description you expect an empowering, feminist anthem. I purchased this for a friend who wanted to take control of her relationship, and read it before I gave it to her. It was... a male centric fetishist guidebook, filled with constant reminders that it was all about feminism. When I gave the book to my friend, I also apologized for buying it. This book would be really cute and fun, if it wasn't marketed as something it's not.

Great advice on just realizing your potential and power from within.

I bought this boom with several others with the intent of handing to my wife as a way of introducing her to this lifestyle I read all the four books myself first as I wanted one that was not going to scare her I chose to give her this one first as it was very friendly and explained how I felt and also the benefits of being dominant over her Husband It took her a day to read it she started slowly but was soon flying through the pages And now she loves the idea of being in control and is now very much enjoying my submission She has also read the other 3 briefly and agrees if I had give her any of the others she probably not finished them and enjoyed the subject So all in all best book to hand to a hesitant Mistress

Great book. After reading it, I felt much more confident about being a dom and learned how to enjoy myself. I originally picked it up for specific ideas which it does and does not present at the same time. It has some excellent opening lines and examplers; however, if you are looking for very specific scenarios, you'll need to get creative yourself because this book does nto offer them.

Basic read, bought as gift for the curious.

As someone who already has a decent handle on BDSM in general, but was looking for something to help me overcome some of my reluctance on taking control - I found this book to be a lot more "beginner level" than I'd hoped. It really comes from a very introductory place - which isn't bad per se, but just wasn't helpful for me.