The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert

Wow! Absolutely loved this book I must say. When I got this book, I wasnt sure Id love it. I know many people recommended it but after reading the negative reviews I was a tiny bit hesitant. But I am so GLAD I bit the bullet. I recommend this for anyone interested in having a long lasting relationship and many years of a beautiful marriage, either one you are currently in or one you want in the future. These truly do seem the keys to make most marriages last for sure. Even the ways conflict is handled is EXACTLY what I been asking for and EXACTLY what I wanted to see. This is the way conflict should be handled. Another pro: the book exercises are very helpful. After reading the questions and surveys I found them extremely helpful in identifying the core issues or positives in a marriage. People don't realize you are A TEAM when you are married. Its YOU 2 first, and this book preaches that. Also the 7 principles themselves I found to be very true and reading the studies as examples were quite helpful. I also appreciate how the book provides practical examples and tips on HOW to bring up certain topics, what to say, what to do in certain marital situations. The only complaint I have about this book is it doesnt seem to go into too much when to truly call it quits in a marriage. I absolutely agree that in most cases people call it quits far too early and people end what could have been such a beautiful thing for silly reasons that can be resolved or learn to co-exist peacefully, but I will say in some fairly rare situations there are times where a marriage simply wont work. I wish the book delved into that a bit more of what are the signs that your marriage really needs to end. But I would say that is a fairly rare case and again MOST of the time it can be improved with many of the exercises and points made in the book My other gripe is that the pages are so thin that it doesnt withstand the wrath of my highlighter! I wish it was a tiny bit thicker because I have to be very gentle with how I highlight so it doesnt bleed through... and trust me, I highlighted A TON in this book. So helpful

Dr. John Gottman’s book “Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” is an insightful and invaluable guide that provides a beacon of hope and practical advice for couples navigating the complexities of marriage. This book delves deep into the core principles that foster strong and lasting relationships. Dr. Gottman draws upon his extensive research and clinical experience to outline actionable strategies, allowing readers to understand the dynamics within their relationship and cultivate a deeper connection with their partner. What sets this book apart is its empathetic approach. Dr. Gottman addresses common relationship pitfalls with sensitivity, offering guidance without judgment. His emphasis on communication, emotional intelligence, and understanding the dynamics of conflict resolution provides a roadmap for couples seeking to improve their relationship dynamics. Each principle outlined in the book is supported by real-life examples and exercises, making it accessible and relatable. The practical nature of the advice allows couples to implement these principles in their daily lives, fostering a more profound sense of understanding and intimacy. Moreover, the book doesn’t just focus on problem-solving; it also highlights the importance of fostering positive interactions and building a foundation of trust and respect. Dr. Gottman’s emphasis on celebrating love and cherishing the bond between partners resonates throughout the book, inspiring hope and motivation for couples facing challenges. One of the most compelling aspects of “Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” is its universal applicability. Regardless of the stage of your relationship, whether you’re newlyweds or have been together for years, the wisdom imparted in this book offers something valuable for everyone. In conclusion, this book is a treasure trove of wisdom and guidance for couples seeking to strengthen their relationship. Dr. Gottman’s expertise, compassionate approach, and actionable advice make “Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” an essential read for anyone invested in cultivating a thriving and enduring partnership.

Love this book! My husband and I read it together. Initially because we were going through a little rough patch and my girlfriend recommended it to me. We both ended up feeling like it was useful especially to spark conversations and not feel like it was going to start a fight. I’d recommend this to anyone in a relationship. There are good exercises throughout the book that also help you understand yourself and partner better!

Love the book so far but the pages are very thin. This is a great guide, I love that it has practicality to it. Just wish the quality of the book itself was more durable

I picked up this book after hearing John and Julie Gottman on a podcast. I was so impressed with their approach to counseling and the words of marital wisdom, I had to pick up this book. I devoured every chapter and have learned so much. It's going to be a re-read several times into my future! I talked about the concepts and discoveries in this book so much, my husband became intrigued, and it sparked many long conversations at dinner. We even decided to set a marriage retreat for ourselves this past year, and used many of the quizzes and questions in the book to guide us. After our weekend, my husband and I both thought the conversations we had due to this book were some of the best and deepest in our marriage. This has now become a must-needed road-trip companion for us any time we're in the car. Thank you to John Gottman and Nan Silver for such a transformational marriage book!

Seeing a marriage counselor and he said he uses this book and its tenets all the time because it's so effective, based on scientific research. I got one each for my husband and myself. We enjoyed doing the exercises at the end of Chapter 4. I read the hopeful parts of the book, the truly practical things couples do to improve and enrich their marriages and, thus, their lives. Sadly, then I read the chapter on "why couples don't make it." Shoot...they mostly apply to us. I analyze and nag too much, my husband is critical and snide all the time and we've let our friendship dwindle to low ebb. We've been married for over 2 decades and it's hard to see us change enough and in enough time to avoid divorce. We're both that miserable. The beauty of the book is that it provides excellent analysis and descriptions of both success and failure in marriage: literally, the author and all professionals who apply these principles can predict whether or not a couple will be able to resolve their conflicts successfully or not within a very short period of time based on how they treat each other. Certainly, the marriages that can seem destined to failed can be turned around if both spouses embrace the process and are willing to work on THEMSELVES and not so much try to "fix" their spouses. So clearly explained, all problems (and ALL marriages encounter problems...you newlyweds are kidding yourselves if you don't believe this) can be divided into the Solvable and Unsolvable. Obviously, by definition, most Solvable Problems can be solved. And it doesn't have to be that Unsolvable Problems lead inevitably to divorce. Sometimes the problem can't be changed by either party such as one becoming ill with cancer or diabetes and the other can't abide having a spouse who is ill. But even having a "mixed marriage" such as 2 conflicting religions can be worked out if they ignore their families' and friends' condemnation and agree to adhere to either or both religions--together or separately--and doing the same for children. Even couples who can't agree on whether or not to have children or cannot procreate themselves to the sorrow of either or both spouses can be resolved well enough to stay together and be happy. If nothing else, Unsolvable Problems can make the marriage stronger if the parties turn to each other in love and for support instead of turning away from each other in anger or sorrow. It's all a matter if you require to get your own way on every issue or allow yourself to build up ginormous resentment by always being the one who caves in to your spouse's demands, supposedly just to keep the peace. That's not a peaceful existence. Right now, I'm not sanguine that it'll work but my husband and I will both give it the ol' college try. I'll keep you posted.

I have read many books on marriage and meet with couples to mentor them in their marriage. I have found no better secular book to lay out how to invest in marriages that set the marriage up for success. I highly recommend this book!

I got this as an audiobook. I enjoy them so much. It is such a bonus to my membership. It came with a thick PDF

the book is amazing and if you are not married to a pathological liar and covert narc, i am sure it can even help couples...easy read and excellent exercises

Good

Muy buen libro. Aunque esté orientado a parejas, los solteros pueden aprender mucho para cuando estén en una relación. Su contenido es útil, práctico y valioso.

Another great Gottman book that is well worth the read. Best seller for a reason. It's super good at explaining all the major issues that couples face and gives you great exercises to go through together to work on boosting/saving your marriage. I would recommend anyone in a relationship for more than 6 months to read this, especially before you get married. When you are married and have issues, this is the holy grail of books if you put the work in to actually follow it.

Nice and useful